I used to watch Family Ties when I was a kid, but I don’t remember much about it beyond Alex P. Keaton’s conservatism and how I thought Justine Bateman was, like, the coolest thing ever. I never paid much attention to the parents. But I should have! Because Meredith Baxter just came out of the closet, and she’s getting a hell of lot more interesting. Apparently, Baxter has been married three times, she’s a recovering alcoholic (she’s been sober for 19 years), she’s a mom to five adult children, and she only figured out she was a lesbian when she was 49 years old, 13 years ago. Since figuring out her stuff, she’s been in a four-year relationship with a woman, and she just went on a lesbian cruise! Hurray! Here are some excerpts from Baxter’s Advocate interview (full piece is here):

The Advocate: Let’s get right to it. What has brought you to this point, where you’re coming out publicly?
Meredith Baxter: Well, to be honest, it was time. And promoted probably from the attention brought from having been on the cruise, I knew that something was coming from that. So I thought, Let me just beat them to it and tell it in my words instead of someone’s made-up words.

When did you realize you were gay?
Thirteen years ago I had a short-term affair with somebody — a woman — who I just cared for tremendously as a person, [I] was not really attracted to her, but the best way to describe it, [a romance] seemed like the next natural step in our relationship just because I cared about her a lot. Not once — it’s probably hard to imagine — but not once did it occur to me that I was a lesbian. Not once. I just thought, OK, I don’t think so, and went off and got married again for a short period of time. And a couple years after that, I entered my next foray into being with a woman, and the penny dropped at that point.

And was that a revelation, or just a slow aha! moment?
No, it was pretty much a revelation. The analogy I’ve used is a story [from] when I was a kid. I never could see very well and I said something to my parents and it kind of went unnoticed, or no one really responded to it. I guess I didn’t make enough noise. When I was 12 I tried on a [friend’s] pair of glasses and I was stunned with how clearly I could see. In truth, I used to think trees looked like lollipops because there was a solid stake and this solid ball. I didn’t know most people could see leaves. Oh, this is how the world is perceived? That’s kind of what having that second relationship made me realize — that this is where I want to be because I was dead to the world in many other ways. I’ve been married three times, and I have a slew of children, but I’ve never felt that kind of connection before in that kind of awakening. It was very profound for me.

How was the process of coming out to your grown children?
Oh, a piece of cake. They were cool. All the kids were basically grown — the youngest [twins] were 17 at the time — and everyone was great. They basically just said, “We just want you to be happy.” So I really could not have asked for a better process than that.

In your personal life with the people you’ve told, has it been a cakewalk?
Maybe a cakewalk on their side. It was absolute f-cking agony for me, only in the respect that I was so fearful.

Fearful of what?
Fearful of reaction, of judgment, of whatever I was sure was going to come. One of my greatest concerns was [for] a little skin care company [Meredith Baxter Simple Works] that I’ve been involved in for 11 years, and [my partners there] are just wonderful people. They’ve been so darling and worked so carefully and honestly with me, and I never said anything to them. I wrote them a letter and got a response that made me just … I could have sung, I was so happy. They were so lovely.

When a celebrity comes out, there is a tendency among some gay people to try to make that person a poster child for activism or hold them up as a spokesperson. Is that a role you’re willing to step into, or is it something you haven’t begun to think about?
[The] truth is that coming out is a political act these days because it has so many ramifications. I do a lot of speaking engagements and I have my little skin care company, so I go to trade shows and I interact with the public quite frequently. I haven’t been on prime time in many years on a regular basis, so when I’ve gone out into the Midwest or down in Florida or Louisiana, I was really surprised by the extent of attention I got by people who knew me immediately, who responded to me so beautifully and with a great deal of affection. It surprised me. The message I get is that I’m America’s mom. And because research seems to show that people who have someone who is gay in their family — or a friend or just know someone in the community who is gay — they seem to have a more open attitude about gay and lesbian issues. So I can say I’m still that mom. I am still the same person. I’m nonthreatening, I’m very friendly, I’m accessible, and if they can say, “OK, well, she’s a lesbian, maybe that’s not such a scary thing. And if she can come out and say that without too much fear, then maybe I can do that.” If it makes a difference to a couple of people, then I guess it’s worthwhile. I certainly got tired of hiding to the extent that I was.

When Prop. 8 was happening, did you consider coming out then?
No, no, that would have seemed opportunistic. I didn’t see the point in that. I may be wrong, but that’s where I was at that point. It was certainly just heartbreaking to see that go down — I didn’t expect that at all. I really thought we were going to be OK.

[From The Advocate]

She sounds really cool, doesn’t she? She’s not only a recovering alcoholic, she’s also a breast cancer survivor. She also mentions that all of her Family Ties castmates know, and that they’re cool with it. Baxter also appeared on Today, and came out yet again. She told Matt Lauer: “I am a lesbian and it was a later-in-life recognition. Some people would say, well, you’re living a lie and, you know, the truth is not at all. This has only been for the past seven years…I’ve always lived a very private life. To come out and disclose stuff is very antithetical to who I am.” We’ll respect your privacy Meredith! I’m so happy for her. She seems like she’s in a good place in her life, and it also sounds like her family is really cool about everything. Awesome.

Meredith Baxter at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles, California on July 8, 2009. Credit: WENN

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